Our Inner Elder

"....pay more attention to your loving cellular memories stored within you in the form of a mature inner elder than you do to finding and indulging the often socially immature and narcissistic brain, that whining 'inner child'." Paul Pearsall, PhD in his book, The Heart's Code: Tapping the Wisdom and Power of Our Heart Energy
Or, as Karol K. Truman defines the inner child "that aspect of us that usually perceives things incorrectly - that aspect of us that still has a lot of hurts and unresolved feelings..." (in Feelings Buried Alive Never Die...)
In other words, as we mature spiritually and move into a heart-centered awareness, we move away from the child-like focus on self. As we become rooted in Spirit, in the Heart, then we are able to expand our awareness to others. And as St. Francis said, our focus then becomes first to seek to understand others, rather than to be understood.
In the Presence within our heart, living from connection with Spirit, we can live fully in the present. Instead of reacting from past hurts and memories, catering to the immature inner child, we can choose how to respond in a manner that is caring, loving and creates a win-win situation for all involved.
When we are emotional, upset, angry we literally are unable to think clearly. Studies have shown that being present in our hearts with love, activates the higher cognitive function of the brain. This is congruent with the Chinese concept of the heart, which they consider synonomous with consciousness. In Chinese medicine, a balanced and integrated functioning of brain and heart together, centered in the heart, connected with Spirit, creates harmony and health in body, mind and spirit. This is because the Heart is considered the Emperor of the body's organ systems which creates the rhythm and regulates all other functions in the body.
Today, we are encouraged to speak a language of feelings and needs based on "I". "I feel", "I need" and this often sets up a situation of potential emotional enslavement, where, like children, we expect others around us to cater to our needs, to ensure that we always feel good. Or we work hard to make those near us happy, by focusing on their ever-changing feelings and needs.
The language of "we" demands a more mature approach; one that is centered in the spiritual heart, governed by reason, guided by Spirit with the ability to set our feelings and needs aside. Certainly, we need to bring to awareness our feelings and needs, become aware of the often whining, demanding inner child. And then, with higher awareness and attention of the mature inner elder, to support and guide the child in growth - expanding awareness beyond it's limited view to a greater experience. As we move forward based on faith, rather than feelings, our lives change; our inner child matures and can finally heal.
Taking time to stop and then to listen to our inner dialogue when we are stressed and upset is important. Learning to bring our awareness in love to our heart, we can then open again to Spirit, and receive the love and guidance we are so in need of. In that place, we are the inner elder, perceiving the situation from wider perspective, with benevolence and able to move forward with compassion.
This is part of what it means to live with heart and compassion.